Conflict

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Handling Conflict
Conflict is inevitable, natural, and even healthy! What is unhealthy is unresolved conflict allowed to fester and become a sore in the side of an otherwise productive team. In Acts 15 we see conflict both within and outside the team, but in both cases it is resolved productively. Here is one suggested process for handling conflict.

5 Stage Process for Handling Conflict
1. P ray through the subject of the conflict, alone. Ask God to help you discern the reasons behind it, the needs of those involved and how you may have contributed to it.
2. E xplore each other's positions thoroughly, listening carefully to each others' views on the subject of the conflict. Bear in mind that the conflict may be about personalities and needs, rather than the subject matter.
3. A pproach possible solutions together, bringing to the fore the commonality you have. These may include desire to see God glorified, the team goal, concern for each other's happiness.
4. C ollaboration is better than compromise. Praying together can be a powerful way of seeking agreement. 'I will listen to what God, the Lord will say, he promises peace to his people, his saints.' (Ps 85:8)
5. E xpel any resentment you still hold. Make peace with them! (Mt 5:24)

Pause for Thought : Use the approach above to try to resolve any conflict that you are aware of within the team. You may find the list of questions and meditations below helpful.

Approaching Conflict Situations

Five questions to reflect on and pray through, when in conflict with another person :
1. What does the Lord appreciate about this person? Can I see those qualities in them?
2. Why am I taking my position? Is that true, or is there something behind it?
3. What is important in this situation?
4. What alternative solutions are there? Which of them could I live with?
5. How have I contributed to this situation? Is there anything I need to ask the Lord to help me repent of?

Five passages for meditation :

	'Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbour as yourself. I am the Lord.' (Leviticus 19:18)
	'Do not say, 'I'll pay you back for this wrong!' Wait for the Lord, and He will deliver you.' (Proverbs 20:22)
	'Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.' (Proverbs 10:12)
	'My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.' (James 1:19)
	'Tell your people to slander no-one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility to all people.' (Titus 3:2)

We have additional resources available on this web-site which offer greater depth : A bible study on church conflict, and a guide to surviving and resolving conflict.