Four Responses to Crisis
Here we identify and discuss four responses to a crisis or
conflict situation.
- 1) Return To A "Pre-Crisis" State:
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- After the crisis the individual, instead of moving toward
growth, regresses back to where they were before, only to experience the same thing again
and again until they face the pain in a constructive manner.
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- 2) Develop Negative ("Toxic") Behaviors:
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- Some respond to crisis by developing patterns of negative
behavior to ease the tension. Such negative behaviors may include isolation, withdrawal,
becoming overly controlling, people- pleasing, succumbing to addictions (e.g. alcohol,
drugs, relationships, sexual, et al.), career suicide, etc.
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- Unfortunately, these and other behaviors not only fail to
relieve the situation, but they place additional stresses on one's physical, emotional,
and spiritual well-being. Indeed, these negative behavior patterns may be damaging to
one's health and ministry. "Career Suicide" may be one example.
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- 3) Survival and Growth
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- The hardest way, going through crisis, is
also the most beneficial. When one is able to face the pain, shed denial, work
through the difficulties, overcome the spiritual, emotional, and physical challenges
involved in crises, one experiences unparalleled survival and growth.
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- Survivors not only come out healthier and more confident for
having gone through the pain, but their church and those to whom they minister benefit
from the deepened perspective of a pastor who has "been there--done that."
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- Examples of personal lessons of growth experienced in response
to crisis include:
| Gaining new characteristics and abilities you didn't have
before; |
| Learning that you really can survive with
God's strength; |
| That God really is with you in ways you never could have
imagined!. |
| The development of new "survival" and coping
strategies; |
| Learning that you can handle crises; |
| A recognition that you don't control outcomes--God does! |
| Recalling that the ministry is not just preaching, but it's
dealing "head on" with the real existential issues of a sinful world encumbered
with many, many problems, problems with which many of our parishioners are dealing in
their daily lives; |
| Learning that you are able to find alternatives to problems; |
| Discovering that you can hold my own when others cannot and
that your strength upholds and encourages them; |
| Discovering that there are others in the Body of Christ who,
having also experienced crises and difficulties, are an invaluable source of encouragement
and support; |
| Gaining of a new appreciation of your inner Christian
spirituality; |
| After all the guilt, recognizing that by the grace of God
alone, you really are a "good" person; |
| Being reminded that you not perfect, but God's undeserved
forgiveness is your's anyway; |
| Learning again that God really does keep His promises; |
| Learning how suffering is the short-term experience which
spurs long-term growth and true Christian joy. The greater the suffering, the
greater the growth and the joy (James 1:1); and |
| Discovering in hindsight that the fear that you experienced,
though real and disabling, was really an indication of your lack of faith in
powerful renewal which God promised and realized through your crisis; |
| Discovering that we really do not need to fear; |
| Experiencing God's promise that He will never leave you or
forsake you; |
| and so many, many more such lessons. |
- 4) Move Out In Unparalleled Confidence In God's
Promises
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- Those who fall into the first and second responses to crisis
often fail to really discover the depth of strength that God gives to His people. Not
being able to respond to God's word, "Fear not," such individuals distance
themselves from God's presence and power. Unfortunately, one cannot really learn how to
overcome fear without having gone through intense fear and, in spite of the fear, allowing
God to work powerfully in their weakness.
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- Those who have experienced and successfully overcome the fear
have developed and resourced the necessary coping relationships. They have also given the
proper attention to their physical, spiritual, and mental health by getting professional
help for excessive anxiety, depression, etc.and, when necessary, used medications to help
restore normal cerebral, hormonal, endocrine chemistries and body functions.
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- Perhaps most important of all, they have learned to let go in
faith so that God's power could powerfully work in them. In doing so they learn St. Paul's
"secret" of enduring difficulties. They also learned the secret of true joy and
discovered just how "blessed" those who suffer really are. They are
"blessed" because they have experienced God's working in a way no one else can
experience for them.
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- What's Your Crisis Response?
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- Certainly I'm not an avid advocate of suffering. Yet, when
crises occur, Christian leaders need to evaluate their responses. If unhealthy or
destructive, or if they find themselves powerless and weak in their situation, bailing out
may not be the answer.
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- Flight, denial, and walking away may be signals that one's
faith has significant character weaknesses. In fact, these unhelpful and often destructive
responses may be Satan's way to prevent you from experiencing the ultimate fulfillment of
God's promise, "I will not leave you nor forsake you."
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- Given God's continued "spotless" record is that He
faithfully bears us on eagle's wings. he most God-pleasing response is simply to trust
Him...especially in trial. Perhaps the greatest comfort in trial are the words of God
spoken through Jeremiah in chapter 29 of his prophecy:
"I know my plans for you," says
the Lord, "to give you a hope and
a future....to prosper and not destroy you."
- The ultimate test for any Christian, especially Christian
pastors, is the test of trusting God's promises. Are God's promise true? Are you willing
to let God prove it in your life, even though it be through pain, adversity and other
difficulties? Consider your past and present responses to crisis and then resolve today to
trust His plan, His hope, and His future for you as His chosen servant.
This is not easy, particularly when you are in the midst of
severe crisis or conflict. Our next element tries to
talk about some of the background to this kind of conflict, its impact on churches, and
how we might handle this kind of conflict as leaders.
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